Friday, July 19, 2013
Don't Say I Never Tried to Give You Anything
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Ragnar VS. Ragnar: The Epic Battle!
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| Vikings do it in the ocean. But they always use protection. |
The hero of my first book, RAGNAR AND JULIET, is named Ragnar. (SPOILER!) It recently came to my attention that the History Channel has totes stolen this brilliant idea and has named the hero of their (pish!) TV show, Vikings, Ragnar as well. I tuned in, friends, to see what they had gotten up to with MY *ahem* name. I noticed that there were several key differences between the Ragnars. I shall elaborate below so that my dozens of fans do not get my book mixed up with a big-budget television show. Which is totally a thing that could happen!
Let's start with the sames.
Same 1: Both Ragnars have pretty blue eyes, the better to bat them at... well, my Ragnar bats them at the heroine, Juliet. Vikings Ragnar tends to bat his at his hallucinations, er, visions. He enjoys wandering off along the shore, gazing at the sky and dreaming of what's across the ocean. (Sea monsters? Clothing with zippers? Who can say?)
Same 2: Both Ragnars have ships. My Ragnar zooms about in a spaceship, because my book is set in space, and that sort of vehicle helps you not die in the cold, airless cosmos. Vikings Ragnar has secretly built a ship for to travel west across the ocean to look for zippers, or whatever. It will help him not die in the cold ocean. It is possible that there will be space ships in future episodes of Vikings (perhaps for May sweeps).
Same 3: Both Ragnars have taken up with kickass women who subdue would-be rapey assholes, which means the menfolk have excellent taste in ladies. Take note, men!
The diffs:
(That's cool-speak for "differences." I think. I'm not very cool.)
Diff 1: Viking Ragnar begins his story by gutting some unfortunate dude with a sword. He doesn't even introduce himself! It's all wham, bam, oops your guts are on my shoes now. My Ragnar starts his book by having a cocktail. If I had my choice of being gutted by or drinking with a sexy, blue-eyed fellow, well, I'd choose booze any day of the week. But maybe I just really enjoy my Whiskey.
Diff 2: Both the Ragnars' women are awesome warrior-types. The main difference between them is that Juliet would never wear the long skirts that Lagertha does. I mean, Juliet even wears a gynecologist-approved miniskirt when she impersonates a nun! She ain't got time for no old-fashioned, knee-covering modesty sacks. And that's why, at least comparing book 1 of the Ragnar and Juliet series to episode 1 of Vikings, Juliet gets laid way more often. Take note, ladies!
Diff 3: The Viking Ragnar has no tail, seeing as he is a human being. My Ragnar has an adorable devil tail that likes to trail up your skirt, as he is an alien. Thankfully, they both have the usual other male appendages. I assume, anyway. Viking Ragnar has not shown his off because he lives on basic cable.
In conclusion, if you enjoyed the butt-kicking in Vikings, you will probably like my books, too. They are dirtier, anyhow, and that's always a plus. However, my hero Ragnar never wanders off to spacey music and hallucinates. You'll have to decide for yourself whether that's a good or a bad thing.
Friday, October 28, 2011
I'm Chuffed. Just Chuffed!
This is from Just Erotic Romance Reviews:
Juliet Lawrence, of the New York Lawrences, is a successful bounty hunter, successful enough to have decorated her ship in antiques and herself in large wardrobe of trollop-sexy clothes. Having accepted a contract from King William the Nefarious, she hotly pursues Ragnar Manscape, only to find herself deeply attracted to the alien space captain, whose crime was liberating one of King William’s enslaved concubines. As Juliet debates whether to bed her captive or turn him over for the money, King William’s staff of Bad Guys captures them both. As Ragnar helps devise an escape plan, Juliet discovers the joys of having a partner, especially one with such a talented tail, and finally finds herself in a relationship that could last a lifetime.Ragnar and Juliet, a lovely spoof of space operas and romance, is grounded in a fine storyline, with strong, well-developed characters. Juliet is a delightfully New-York-mouthy woman with a taste for trash in clothes and one-nighters. Ragnar, on the other hand, is an alpha male with a soft heart (he let his little sister name his ship Bobo), who wants to bring her home to meet his family, after having mind-blowing sex with her. And the sex is hot! The supporting characters are nicely done, as well, particularly King William the Nefarious, whose taste in women runs toward the totally submissive dressed in Princess Leia. Ms. Woodhull’s humor avoided slapstick and had me laughing almost every page. When Juliet finally handles her commitment issues and quits running from Ragnar, I wanted to cheer. Ragnar and Juliet definitely deserves the JERR Silver Star Award. It’s delightful! This book definitely goes in my re-read stack to keep me warm this winter!
If you’re wondering what the JERR Silver Star Award is (I was), it’s this:
Silver Star: This rating is for those exceptional short books consisting of 100 pages or less. The ones the reviewer feels she won’t forget because of its exceptional quality. It engaged the senses in a way that she became the story, that she couldn’t lay it down and would return time and again. These books are the best of the best.
DAYUM! My hubby found this review and he got all choked up and proud of me over it. Thanks, JERR!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
The Great Debate: Cake vs. Pie
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Win a Copy of RAGNAR AND JULIET and Watch Uhura Kick Ass
Well, it's your lucky day!
I'm at Killer Chicks talking about my favorite kick-ass scifi heroines. Come on by and tell me all abut yours.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
RAGNAR AND JULIET: The Book Trailer!
As you can see from this, my husband is a very generous and understanding person. It's not every man who would look at the script for this thing and agree to film it, edit it, and not divorce me. Then again, he's pretty used to my nonsense...
Dancing With Myself and All of You!
I'm Giving Away Another Copy of RAGNAR AND JULIET today!
Monday, September 12, 2011
The Greatest Book Ever Written (Mostly) is Finally on Sale!
Yes, you can finally buy RAGNAR AND JULIET! (That's a link to Liquid Silver, where you can buy direct. You can also get the book at AllRomance and Amazon.)
There are many ways you can celebrate this blessed day. Here are a few suggestions:
1. Buy the book. Duh.
2. Throw a ticker-tape parade down Fifth Avenue. No, I will not bail you out of jail, but I will applaud your commitment to the cause.
3. Name your cat after me.
4. Name your child after me.
5. Name yourself after me.
Check out the right side panel for a my blog tour dates and links. Lots of hijinks and some giveaways, so go look now. Well, after you read the rest of this post.
I'm over at Smart Girls Love SciFi today giving away a copy. But that's no excuse for not buying your very own copy. It's the least you can do if you won't name your son after me. And you call yourself a fan...
Friday, September 9, 2011
Hey, Goodreads says I'm an AUTHOR!
I have fans and everything. Hope I still have them after the book comes out. Maybe I should take a screen shot...
So please be my fan and mark my v. v. important book (RAGNAR AND JULIET) as a to-read. If you do, the First-Time-Author Fairy will visit you and leave a tooth under your pillow. I know that doesn't sound too appealing, but what if I said that the fairy looked like this? Now we're talking.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Coming Soon to an Asylum Near You
I don’t know what you did this weekend, but my husband and I finally got down and dirty…
filming the Ragnar and Juliet book trailer.
Our house is a disaster of spaceships made of shoe boxes and duct tape, Barbie dolls in stupid outfits, and cat hair in the shot, except we didn’t notice it until we’d done four takes. So if you watch this crapfest and see giant cat hairs, well, that’s just “ambiance.”
I spent most of the time painfully laying flat on my belly, arms way out in front of me close to the ground, making Barbie and Ken (Ragnar and Juliet) hump, or jump, or chase. There were actually moments when my husband wanted them to get too graphic for my taste. Yes, turns out I have taste.
This thing is so stupid. I really wonder if it’s a good idea of a spectacularly bad one in which I scare off more readers than I attract.
But we laughed so very much, even more than we snapped at one another. Too bad no one will hear any of the dialogue I gave to the dolls. My husband lost it several times. Of course, I think the liquor helped. There is no part of this thing that was produced 100% sober, and I’m proud of that.
We broke out the fog machine. I decided that we are awesome because we own one to just use whenever we want to.
Now my man will edit it, hopefully to be completed by Sept 12th, my release date. When you see it, please lie and tell me that the hours of work that went into it were not a waste of our precious lives.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
My Cover Is Too Sexy For (Just) This Blog
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
My Book Cover Brings all the Romance Readers to the Yard
And I'm like
It's better than yours.
Damn right, it's better than yours.
OMG I love it so, so much!
Okay, that last line doesn't rhyme, but can you blame me for going a little crazy for this cover by Lyn Taylor?
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Clear Your Calendar on September 12th!
Don't listen to them. The book is wonderful!
I'm setting up a blog tour for September with links, giveaways, miscellaneous fun crap, &etc. I've also added a sample from the book under "books," so you can get a succulent taste right this very moment.
I AM SO VERY EXCITE!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
When THE CALL Comes, Sometimes It's an Email. It's Still AWESOME.
Funny that just as soon as I decide "no more romance for me, I'm going to write humor exclusively," a door opens, or a dumbwaiter, or something.
My friend Nico Rosso met up with his editor at Liquid Silver Books at the recent Romantic Times conference and told her that he had a friend with a space opera novella. (Friend = me, novella = Ragnar and Juliet.) The editor said to send it her way. I didn’t even ask Nico to do this! He is just a boss like that. So go buy his book Taken to the Limit because he’s awesome.
Saturday, mid-afternoon: Lucy takes a final spit 'n' polish to the MS, e-mails editor.
Saturday, very shortly after: Editor says she's itching to add the rom-com space opera novella to her e-reader. Lucy figures hey - at least the query letter is good!
Sunday, mid-afternoon: A new e-mail from editor lands in Lucy's in-box. Lucy says to self, "Well, self. That was the fastest rejection on a full ever. Where's the booze?" Except that it wasn't. It was a contract offer. With the words "please say yes."
PLEASE SAY YES?
DOES NOT COMPUTE. WE ARE USED TO BEING CALLED “HILARIOUS BUT TOO WEIRD FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION.”
What does a girl do when there's no BUT?
She says, "YES!" of course. Said girl is not stupid. (I still reached for the booze, but instead of sad whiskey, I drank celebratory champagne!)
In a few short months, you will actually be able to pay for the privilege of reading my
In other booky news, I'm about to start querying my SUPER SEKRIT ZOMBIE BOOK, a humor/ gift book. AND I GET TO SAY I HAVE A PUBLISHING CONTRACT IN THE QUERY LETTER! How freaking great is that?!
So, I'm back. I feel refreshed from my social networking hiatus, but I'll be here more regularly now to share the process of being published for the first time, and random thoughts, and stupid pictures, etc. I'm sorry that the quality of this blog will not improve.
