My Writing Process Blog Hop

Howdy, loyal blog buddies!  I'm going to chat with you today about my writing process, in case you yourself wish to write nonsense that's full of sex and want to learn how this humble unicorn-lover does it.  Thanks to Nico Rosso for tagging me in this blog hop -- you can read about his process here.

What am I working on?

I'm working on secrit superheroine book.  (You should have read that to yourself in a very dramatic voice.)  It's probably going to end up being women's fiction in the vein of Sookie Stackhouse -- a series centered around one heroine with paranormal abilities.

My superheroine will not be sexily gadding about with her gravity-defying tits exposed while wearing leather short-shorts -- she's going to be a heroine that real ladies can actually relate to.  The book is shaping up to be one of my favorite things, which is me taking a standard story and spinning it on its head. Which brings me to...  

How does my work differ from others in this genre?

I'm actually now trying to acquire a romance agent (I have a separate agent for my non-romance humor work) for my paranormal Nerd at First Bite.  I've taken the trope of the ancient, sexy, rich, mopey, pasty vampire and created the opposite.  Frank, the hero of NaFB, is Black, his business is failing, he's only been a vamp for ten years, and he's an uber-nerd whose experience with women can be detailed thusly:

Yeah -- not good.  Personally, I think nerdy vamps will be the new, hot thing.  Er, I hope. I find that inverting tropes can make for some awesome humor, and I just love doing it.  Not that I don't love the tropes of my genre!  I adore romance (obvs), but I love being the class clown, too.  That's what makes me different.  I'm gonna bring the rom-com back, I tells ya!  

Why do I write what I do?

 

I'm a goofball.  I'm a weirdo.  And I love making people laugh, so I write romantic comedies.  I couldn't write some dark, stressy romance if I tried.  Sex and laughter -- is there a better combination than that?  My heroes and heroines tend to be losers who discover their best selves through love and adventure, and grow into their life's purpose without forgetting where they came from.  Samantha Lytton, the heroine of my Dimple book series, starts the first book in a very low place in her life.  Her job is dead-end, her bed is empty (save for cheeseburgers), and things seem grim.  I think we've all been there -- I sure as hell have.  I try to write real people who don't have their act together with a yacht on top, because I don't know anybody who has a yacht or the perfect life. BTW, if you have a yacht and the perfect life, can I be your friend?  I'll bring beer!  

How does my writing process work?

 

Butthole.  Yup, that's it.  

I think I'm in the minority of novel writers in that I do not plot.  Unless I have to.  I did have to write a synopsis for the second and third Dimple books for my publisher, but, in the end, the actual books differed from the original plans somewhat. 

 

I'm a pantser, in that I write by the seat of my pants.  I love sorta-knowing what's going to happen next, but maybe not how I'll get there.  My books are plot-based, fast-paced adventures with a hot romance thrown into the mix.  Generally, I get an idea for a character and start with her.  For my Ragnar and Juliet series, I saw a vision of a space bounty hunter heroine going after an innocent man, and then falling for him.  She proudly shops at Sluts-R-Us, and her hero is a gentle giant who works to convince her that love is the answer.  (I also adore reversing stereotypical gender roles.) 

Character, then situation, then adventure.  Then hott sexxoring aw yeaaaahhhhhhhhhh. 

Ahem. 

So that's how I write my rom-coms.  It's not a pretty process, but it's a funny one, and that's all that matters. 

Tag, You're It 

Next up in the blog hop: The delightful Melissa Blue!  (Seriously, go check her stuff out!) 

Outside of writing contemporary romances, Melissa Blue works as a mail clerk for the federal government, has a paralegal certificate (that she has more use for as a dust pan) and is a mother of two rambunctious children. She lives in California where the wine is good and, despite popular belief, is not always sunny.  Her blog:  http://melthegreatest.blogspot.com/.

When THE CALL Comes, Sometimes It's an Email. It's Still AWESOME.

Hello, blog friends. I have not, in fact, disappeared into the gray beyond. I just took a break for a while to figure out what I want to do, writing wise. To ask the big questions in life: Who am I? What am I? And why are Cadbury Creme Eggs only available at Easter? I already miss those things.

Funny that just as soon as I decide "no more romance for me, I'm going to write humor exclusively," a door opens, or a dumbwaiter, or something.

My friend Nico Rosso met up with his editor at Liquid Silver Books at the recent Romantic Times conference and told her that he had a friend with a space opera novella. (Friend = me, novella = Ragnar and Juliet.) The editor said to send it her way. I didn’t even ask Nico to do this! He is just a boss like that. So go buy his book Taken to the Limit because he’s awesome.

Saturday, mid-afternoon: Lucy takes a final spit 'n' polish to the MS, e-mails editor.

Saturday, very shortly after: Editor says she's itching to add the rom-com space opera novella to her e-reader. Lucy figures hey - at least the query letter is good!

Sunday, mid-afternoon: A new e-mail from editor lands in Lucy's in-box. Lucy says to self, "Well, self. That was the fastest rejection on a full ever. Where's the booze?" Except that it wasn't. It was a contract offer. With the words "please say yes."

PLEASE SAY YES?

DOES NOT COMPUTE. WE ARE USED TO BEING CALLED “HILARIOUS BUT TOO WEIRD FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION.”

What does a girl do when there's no BUT?

She says, "YES!" of course. Said girl is not stupid. (I still reached for the booze, but instead of sad whiskey, I drank celebratory champagne!)

In a few short months, you will actually be able to pay for the privilege of reading my insane rantings high quality prose.

In other booky news, I'm about to start querying my SUPER SEKRIT ZOMBIE BOOK, a humor/ gift book. AND I GET TO SAY I HAVE A PUBLISHING CONTRACT IN THE QUERY LETTER! How freaking great is that?!

So, I'm back. I feel refreshed from my social networking hiatus, but I'll be here more regularly now to share the process of being published for the first time, and random thoughts, and stupid pictures, etc. I'm sorry that the quality of this blog will not improve.

I'd Make Short the New Tall

I'm back!

The intrusive real world took me away for a little while, blog friends. I had to work twelve hour days of actual day job work work, which is less fun than blogging nonsense, but currently pays more.

As I was slaving away and pleasing my masters like a monkey butler, I would fantasize about the good life.

So I pose a question to you, gentle author-readers: What would you do with J.K. Rowling kind of money?

Here's the scene:

The phone rings. It's your high-powered, yet friendly literary agent. "YOU!" she says, "I have a three book, three million dollar book deal for you with your dream publisher!" Kalu-kalay! The books sell out within days! Then they sell out their extra printings! You appear on Oprah, who has continued to do her talk show and book club just to feature you!

Soon, you have heaps of money, gobs of fame, and millions of book lovers the world over clutching your masterworks to their bosoms in pure, unfettered joy.

What do you do?

Yes, you help yourself, your friends, and family with money and debt and such. And you'd give your money away to needy causes, of course. Yeah, that's nice. We'd all do that.

But what else do you do? What crazy, maybe secret things would you do with it?

Here's what I would do.

• Get a unicorn. Yes, they are real. It's just that they are a rich people animal that you, as a plebe, have never seen, like the Fantastapotamus.

• I'd re-build the Pan-Pacific Auditorium.
  
  
  You may recognize it from the movie Xanadu - they used the exteriors for the Xanadu roller disco itself. It burned down ten years later. I'd house my unicorn in it, and, of course, it'd be a rollerdisco rink for me and my friends.
  

• My husband and I would travel.
  
  Lucy: Would we buy a villa in some glamorous foreign country?
  
  Ricky: Well, we'd have to do that.
  
  Lucy: Which one?
  
  Ricky: We'd have to test them all out first.
  
  Lucy: Naturally.
  
  Ricky: I'd buy a bunch of fast cars and race them through Europe.
  
  Lucy: With all that money, you could buy friendship with the Top Gear guys and drive with them.
  
  Ricky: Yes!

• I would hire someone with a great and slightly evil imagination to do nothing but annoy all the jerks who were mean to me or mine. Nothing really bad... just stuff like follow them to a movie and cough next to them the whole time, or randomly tell them they look fat in that outfit, or send them official-looking letters telling them they have $2000 in old speeding tickets and then set up a fake government phone number just to jerk them around. Stuff like that. Come to think of it, maybe I could set up a business like that...

• I'd have a vintage wardrobe to rival Dita Von Teese's.

• I would help women. Brilliant, creative women. Invest in their companies, mentor them, introduce them to the right people. I'd start an Old Women's Network the way the men have the Old Boys' Club. But I'd give it a catchier name, like "Bitches Be Taking Care of Business" or something.

Now tell me: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?