I recently spent an entire 45-minute workout jamming to the Spice Girls. Usually, I spend my workout time pretending I'm Beyoncé giving a concert, but this time I was five women, all in terrible 90s fashion, and it was glorious.
I fucking love the Spice Girls. The singing is passable, the lyrics are ridiculous, and the beats are infectious. Plus, they remind me of my youth! Sigh. My youth.
So, here, have some Spice Girls. Let's start with the one that wins the award for Most Sexy Sounding Song Until You Actually Listen to the Lyrics, and Then You Just Cringe at the Girl Huffing "Get It On, Get It On" Over and Over Again: 2 Become 1.
I dare you to not get pumped at the gym while listening to "Spice Up Your Life."
And no half-assed retrospective could be complete without "Wannabe." Researchers have yet to discover what "zig-a-zig-aahh" means, but my studies tell me it translates to "Ha! You secretly love this song, sucka!"
Breaking Good by Madeline Ash
9 hours ago