Sunday, September 23, 2012

Two Lips Gave Me a Kiss!

Two Lips Reviews gave Ragnar and Juliet five kisses!  Kisses are like stars, except wetter.  As a romance author, I dig kisses as a matter of course.

Icy Snow (the reviewer) really got the book and had fun with it, and frankly, that's about the best thing I can imagine!

Juliet Lawrence (of the New York Lawrences) may be the bane of her parents’ existence (and that’s why they disowned her) but she’s a damned good bounty hunter and enjoys it, especially when her prey is a handsome and hunky man. The poor dude usually never knows what’s hit him once Juliet gets him in her sights. Her current target is no exception. Ragnar Manscape has riled King William the Nefarious of new Los Angeles, and for the reward King William’s offering, Juliet just can’t wait…until she actually meets Ragnar, that is.

Her first question should be, “Why is a droolworthy guy like you on William the Nefarious’ Hit List?” Soon, she finds out the answer, and also that Ragnar is more than droolworthy. He’s also funny, sexy, smart, courageous, sexy, handsome, sexy…did I mention sexy…? Of course, he’s an alien and not human, and does possess a very prehensile tail (named Torval), and a couple of other fascinating…features…but that just makes Juliet want him that much more.

She’s in a quandary now…to turn Ragnar in to William or not. That problem’s settled for her when William’s henchmen capture both her and Ragnar and take them back to their master. Ragnar isn’t worried. After all, he’s certain that God won’t let anything happen to them, because they’re both too pretty to die.

Juliet wants more assurance than that, especially after William, who prefers to be called Bob, decides to add her to his list of a thousand concubines. Given her choice, she’ll take Ragnar, any day, tail and all. In the meantime, William the Nefarious also has Ragnar in his clutches and that just won’t do, because he should be in Juliet’s. So it’s a toss-up to see who rescues whom and if they’ll get that Happily Ever After they want or are going to end up in William…uh, Bob’s pseudo-medieval, genuine authentic stone dungeon.

I don’t know why whimsical and irreverent stories like this one appeal to me but they do, and I enjoyed this one so much, I read it in one sitting. Pick any Sci-fi adventure and this story reads like a satire of it. Juliet’s as independent as they come, brave, and thoroughly happy with her lot. Ragnar occasionally comes across as more brawn than brain but then he does something completely out of character and proves that the muscle inside his skull gets as much exercise as certain other ones. And Torval…? Let’s just say that, to borrow a quote from a certain other Juliet, a tail by any other name probably wouldn’t be as talented.

For lots of fun, some ridiculous situations and even sillier characters, a whole lotta love-making, and a darn good story, I wholeheartedly recommend Ragnar and Juliet by Lucy Woodhull. Read it and you’ll be glad you did!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Sophomore Efforts, and the Fear of Being Farmer Ted

It's a curious feeling that comes with a second book.  Like the awkward hope that comes when you ask a dude way out of your league to the prom.  In this scenario, I am The Geek from Sixteen Candles, and the book-buying public is Jake Ryan.  And I guess we're gay...

(I'll begin by saying I'm so grateful to have curious feelings and a second book -- when I was unpublished I might roll my eyes at "published author problems."  They are good problems to have, in many, many ways -- I get it!)

I'm a mid-list author, meaning that if you ran into the street screaming about the latest Lucy Woodhull book, 99% of folks would say "who?"  Our heroine, The Geek, valiantly waves her hands in the air, begging for a couple of bucks.  In turn, I'll show you my underpants in the boys' restroom.  So to speak.  There are panties in my books, anyhow (or a lack of them -- Juliet doesn't much care for such vadge-restricting clothing.)

I'm scared no one will pay.  I'm scared that my sophomore effort will disappoint fans of the first book.  I'm scared I'll never have to worry about this feeling about a third book, which I have yet to sell.  I'm scared most of all that there are people who spend their hard-earned money on me and walk away not laughing with a spring in their step, but annoyed that they wasted their bucks or Euros.  And it will happen.  I can't please everyone, no matter how many zit jokes I beleaguer my heroine with.

Most of the time I feel like a loser, twirling my tassels on them thar Interwebs, dancing to try and get one new reader to take a chance on me amongst the well-established and wonderful romance authors out there.  I Tweet, I blog -- I've even crossed over into my personal hell, Facebook.  Ugh.  The things I do for love!

But then I think to myself... all those fancy authors like Julia Quinn or Tessa Dare had to start somewhere, too, right?  They must have had that feeling of being a total nobody, building up their audience a person at a time.  Maybe they still get that terror with each and every new book.  I hope I get to find out one day, typing my eightieth book as I sit on my porch by the sea, while my monkey butlers serve me mimosas made with unicorn tears, because I am so rich from my sales.  (In this scenario, I write all my books while drink on unicorn mimosas.  Not all that different from today, except now I'm drinking 40s from the corner store, and they are served by my cat, who is crap at it, frankly.)

Until then, I guess I'll keep shining up my pasties.  Or straightening my head gear.  And flirting with Jake Ryan, even though he's on the other side of the cafeteria sitting with Eloisa James.  They look so cute together!

Farmer Ted never gave up, and neither should we.