As a smut author, I'm always interested in exploring the less...public side of famous figures from history. As such, I have assembled some absolutely totally real quotes from America's founders on this, the July 4th holiday.
George Washington: Hey, lady, please help me with my wood...en teeth.
John Adams: I'm in full favor of a revolution; I'll sit and you spin!
Benjamin Franklin: I'll show ye what I learned in France. Voulez-vous coucher avec America, la dame sexee.
Samuel Adams: Have I told you about my massive brewery?
Benjamin Franklin: Come upstairs, baby -- I have a huge invention collection.
Abigail Adams: Yeah, instead of calling me sexy, might I have rights?
Everyone: ...No.
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