Thursday, July 1, 2010

Ode to A Writing Area

The Rejectionist, my evil-gollum-lesbian-girlfriend, has issued a fun blog challenge to only her favorite author-friend-bloggers. Okay, fine, she issued it to everyone, and, since I am an "everyone," I have decided to play! (Bonus points to anyone who can tell me what poem I am parodying.)

I present:

Ode to A Writing Area

by Lucy Woodhull
(of the Infamous Writing Area,
as Mentioned in the Famous Ode,
Which is Below)

Thou much ravish'd bride of messitude,
Thou birthplace of hilarity and mania,
Cheez-It receptacle, who canst thus inspire
A silly tale more stupid than our rhyme:
What red-fring'd lady haunts about thy space
A layabout or dreamer, or one lost,
In Romance or the tales of Inanity?
What short lady is this? A maiden? Ha!
What mad stories? What struggle to create?
What puns and adverbs? What wild adjectives‽

O couch-ey shape! Squishy cushions! with blanket
To warm its mistress’ feet heatingly,
With laptop blinking ‘round the trodden word;
Thou, silent cursor, dost tease us out of thought
As doth “new document”: Hail, plot bunny!
When old age shall the giddy writer waste,
Thou shalt remain, in midst of living room
Of ours, a friend to woman, to whom thou say'st,
"You could stand to lose some weight,--that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."

PS: Have you entered my Smurfy contest? (Heh heh -- I said "entered.")

PPS: Have a Smurfy Fourth of July, fellow Americans. USA! USA!


  1. OMG SO FUNNY! parodying "Ode to a Grecian Urn"?

    Good place to write; sometimes I migrate to my couch when the blinking cursor pwns me.

  2. Dude. That's priceless. *snicker* Loves it!

  3. Awesome. Maybe I could commission you to do an ode to my couch.

    I had to part with my beloved writing couch when I got a roommate. Somehow writing about lesbian telepaths felt wrong with someone else sitting there.

    Now I write about them on the subway.

  4. I find Cheez-its really help get the creative juices going.

  5. A lovely poem. I second that this must have been inspired by the ol' cheez-it fan, John Keats.