Monday, July 26, 2010

Things I Learned on My Summer Weekend Away-Vacation Thingie

1. That when you've spent a month or two slowly succumbing to the pressures of writing and attempting to sell a fabulous breakout novel (plus the pressures of general life stuff) and it manifests itself in tears several nights in a row in an existential eruption of mucus and whining, make sure you have a very nice husband who will suddenly whisk you away to the Queen Mary for the night to blow off steam and "for the love of God just please quit crying, you crazy person."

1b. That I shouldn't think of fun weekends away as a reward for having an existential snot crisis.

The ship's bell

1c. Ditto for unexpected presents of a super awesome Kindle.

2. That we should live in the now and have fun, like the puppies who play in the surf at Long Beach do. Run run run bark bark bark frolic! frolic! and then S H A K E!!

3. That when you go the Queen Mary you should bring (a) vintage clothes to wear because then you'll match the amazing gorgeous pre-war styling of the ship,

and (b) a ghost costume. Seriously, running down the empty decks saying, "woooooooo! WOOOOOOO!" was very fun, but I really should have had a ghosty-lady-in-white costume to go with.

4. That apparently no one cares if you carry around open containers and make out on the bow of the ship.

5. That staying up into the wee hours and running around the decks like a drunken moron with your equally moronic drunken husband is better than therapy.


7. That the happily-ever-after at the end of the romance novel is not the end, but the beginning, if you're lucky. And I am. And I vow to remember that when I feel an existential mucus explosion coming on.


  1. Sounds like you had fun on your vacation, I'd love to visit that ship! With a ghost costume on or at least some very convincing makeup a la Pirates of the Caribbean.

    Don't feel bad about the snot explosions, I'm prone to the same thing myself. It's that artistic temperament, I tells ya. ;)

  2. Kelly, "artistic temperament" sounds way better than "borderline personality disorder" -- thanks!