Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Stupid Questions with Lucy:
Up with Jane Austen! Edition Featuring Angela Quarles

The lovely author Angela Quarles is here this happy hump day to tell us how she's (mostly) a cake lady, and thank goodness.  (As always, this is a down-with-pies blog!)
1. If you could have one otherworldly alien ability or body part, what would it be and why?
Oh, wow. Hmm… I don't know if this counts, but right now it'd be really handy to have the ability to create duplicates of myself like the characters in David Brin's science fiction novel The Kiln People. Basically you could make clay copies of yourself that had your memories and abilities and they lasted for about a day, and you could send them off to do errands for you.
2. What Smurf would you be?
Yikes, I'm going to show my age here by saying I have no clue. I was in high school and college when they were on TV. I just know they're blue, and they have floppy white hats?
3. Do you think the aliens who inevitably enslave the human race will treat us well or eat us?
Neither probably. Though, of the two, eating us would be more probable, LOL. If not used as a food source, then probably as some kind of forced labor, and I doubt we'd be treated well. I've always kind of hoped that the reason we haven't seen any yet, is because in order to get to the stage where intergalactic travel is possible and affordable, a species would have to evolve to a certain point socially (overcome their own planetary politics) and if that's the case, they just have us on some kind of low-grade monitor waiting for us to get our act together before they make First Contact.
3A. Follow up: What will you do to distinguish yourself to our benevolent overlords so that they don't destroy you with their acid flatulence?
Oh gosh. Try to find out what entertains them writing-wise and write, write, write!
4. What's the best way to foil a ghost? A smart one, not one of those dumbasses in a sheet.
Hmm, kind of hard to answer as I don't know what the ghost is doing. I live in a house that's supposedly haunted, but they're my own ancestors, so they don't bother me I guess. 
5. If you could slap the shit outta one beloved historical figure, who would it be and why?
Mark Twain for his dislike of Jane Austen, though I've never been quite sure if it was just part of his cantankerous posing or what he truly thought. I mean, OUCH: "I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can’t conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice, I want to dig her up and hit her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”
6. Cake or pie? And, if you said pie, why are you so happy to be wrong?​
Thankfully, it's cake for me! German Chocolate cake… Carrot cake… though I'm not adverse to the odd pecan pie thrown my way, just saying.

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