The lovely author Angela Quarles is here this happy hump day to tell us how she's (mostly) a cake lady, and thank goodness. (As always, this is a down-with-pies blog!)
1. If you could have one otherworldly alien ability
or body part, what would it be and why?
Oh, wow. Hmm… I don't know if this counts, but right now it'd be really
handy to have the ability to create duplicates of myself like the
characters in David Brin's science fiction novel The Kiln People.
Basically you could make clay copies of yourself that had your memories
and abilities and they lasted for about a day, and you could send them
off to do errands for you.
2. What Smurf would you be?
Yikes, I'm going to show my age here by saying I have no clue. I was in
high school and college when they were on TV. I just know they're blue,
and they have floppy white hats?
3. Do you think the aliens who inevitably enslave the human race will
treat us well or eat us?
Neither probably. Though, of the two, eating us would be more probable,
LOL. If not used as a food source, then probably as some kind of forced
labor, and I doubt we'd be treated well. I've always kind of hoped that
the reason we haven't seen any yet, is because in order to get to the
stage where intergalactic travel is possible and affordable, a species
would have to evolve to a certain point socially (overcome their own
planetary politics) and if that's the case, they just have us on some
kind of low-grade monitor waiting for us to get our act together before
they make First Contact.
3A. Follow up: What will you do to distinguish yourself to our
benevolent overlords so that they don't destroy you with their acid
flatulence?
Oh gosh. Try to find out what entertains them writing-wise and write,
write, write!
4. What's the best way to foil a ghost? A smart one, not one of those
dumbasses in a sheet.
Hmm, kind of hard to answer as I don't know what the ghost is doing. I
live in a house that's supposedly haunted, but they're my own ancestors,
so they don't bother me I guess.
5. If you could slap the shit outta one beloved historical figure, who
would it be and why?
Mark Twain for his dislike of Jane Austen, though I've never been quite
sure if it was just part of his cantankerous posing or what he truly
thought. I mean, OUCH: "I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I
don’t do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane
Austen, but her books madden me so that I can’t conceal my frenzy from
the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I
read Pride and Prejudice, I want to dig her up and hit her over the
skull with her own shin-bone.”
6. Cake or pie? And, if you said pie, why are you so happy to be
wrong?
Thankfully, it's cake for me! German Chocolate cake… Carrot cake… though
I'm not adverse to the odd pecan pie thrown my way, just saying.
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