Stupid Questions with Lucy:Cat Conspiracies Edition Featuring Lisabet Sarai(& A Giveaway!)

Blog buddy author Lisabet Sarai is here to give away a book and answer my stupid questions!  Gather round, friends...

1. Who would win in a war between cats and bears? 

 

As a devout ailurophile (that's a fancy name for a cat person), I have it on excellent authority that the cats would clobber the bears. Not in a physical contest, of course, but I'll bet on brains over brawn any day. Think about it. Have you ever met a bear with any kind of intellectual depth? Yogi? Pooh? Smokey? Even Paddington (and he's an outlier)? Give a bear a hug and a bit of honey and he's happy. The typical ursine would much rather nap than fight. Bears most definitely do not care about ruling the world. 

 

Felines, on the other hand, possess unbelievably Machiavellian sensibilities. Although they love comfort, they won't allow themselves to be seduced by a plate of fish or a catnip-stuffed toy if that interferes with their larger plans. This is especially true of black cats who have a higher average IQ than cats of other colors. (Miz Blackness is sitting next to my laptop right now, dictating.) 

 

 

Cats really do seem to have super powers sometimes. They can jump to impossible heights. They can disappear. They can see through walls. Not to mention reading your mind - and compelling you to do what they want. It's ridiculously easy to imagine a world in which cats are in charge. Um--right. 

 

2. Would you rather get a diagnosis of Benedict Cumberbatch or Engelbert Humperdinck?

 

Don't you think it's a bit insensitive making jokes at the expense of people with funny names?

 

I have to say I don't fully get the way women go all gooey about Benedict. He's nicely nerdy, but doesn't really float my boat. Of course, Engelbert had the girls of his generation drooling over him as well. So maybe there is something about funny names that gets the juices flowing. Although I seem to be personally immune. 

 

3. If you could have any fantasy creature for a pet, what would it be and why? 

 

I can't have a fantasy creature for a pet. My cats won't let me. 

 

4. Are aliens among us? 

 

See question number 1. Can you think of another explanation? 

 

I have it on unimpeachable authority that cats came here from a distant galaxy where they’d built an advanced civilization. After landing on earth many millenia ago, they began a systematic campaign to take over. They created the Nazca lines in Peru while hunting for prehistoric mice. They're responsible for Stonehenge; the megaliths were originally covered with wood and served as giant scratching posts. They supervised the building of the pyramids. Why do you think the Egyptians worshiped them as gods? 

 

They now control the Pentagon, the Kremlin, FaceBook and YouTube. Obviously. 

 

4A. Since there are aliens among us, what would you name a romance about them? 

 

How about From Fur to Eternity? Fifty Shades of Fur? Gone with the Roast Chicken? 

 

Just a second. I’ll see what Blackness thinks... 

 

5. Speaking of horrible aliens, how would you help Justin Bieber off the planet? 

 

His cat Tuts is working on it. http://www.eonline.com/news/431254/justin-bieber-s-cat-tuts-gets-her-own-twitter http://www.mtv.com/news/1876645/justin-bieber-cats/ Actually, from what I hear, Tuts plans to bring Justin back to the home world to investigate just how a human manages to elicit the sort of swooning adoration usually reserved for felines. 

 

6. If you were a superheroine or -hero, what would your special power be? 

 

Jumping to impossible heights. Disappearing. Seeing through walls. Reading minds. (I think you get the picture...) But I'd better not get too uppity. I know better than to antagonize my alien mistress. 

 

 

And if any of you are fellow ailurophiles, check out Lisabet's upcoming release The Eyes of Bast, which actually features a black cat as the hero. 

 

Here's the blurb: 

 

Trust your heart. Follow your dreams. 

 

Shaina Williams' grandmother bequeathed her that wisdom, along with an old pendant from the Islands, carved from an ocelot's tooth. When instinct tells Shaina to visit the feral cat trap she'd set in Central Park, she listens to that inner voice. She discovers she's caged a magnificent black tom, but the cat inexplicably vanishes after she tends to his wounds. Seeking the errant feline, Shaina encounters instead a handsome stranger whose slightest touch sets her body on fire. As the day dawns after a night of ferocious passion, her mysterious lover is forced back into his true shape—the tomcat she'd rescued. 

 

Born a cat, Tom was transformed into an unwilling shape shifter by a sorceress who craved a human plaything to satisfy her perverse lusts. Centuries old and irresistibly powerful, Delphine Montserrat will stop at nothing to find her runaway familiar. Shaina vows to do whatever is necessary to defeat the vicious but seductive witch and save the man she believes is her soul mate – even though it might mean losing him forever. 

 

The Eyes of Bast will be available at Totally Bound on the 27th of March. You can pre-order it now: https://www.totallybound.com/the-eyes-of-bast. 

 

You can read an excerpt here: http://www.lisabetsarai.com/eyesofbastex.html 

 

And since you can't get that book yet, I'll give you a chance to win a copy of Incognito, another one of my novels with a cat (named Heathcliff) who has a crucial role in the plot. Just leave a comment on this post - with your email, please, so I can find you if I draw your name! 

 

About Lisabet 

 

Cat lover. World traveler. Belly dancer. Computer geek. Lisabet Sarai loves variety, in her life and in her writing. Her nine novels and dozens of short stories include contemporary, historical, paranormal, science fiction, steam punk, gay, lesbian, ménage, kink, and pretty much every other genre you could name, aside from cowboys. She even, occasionally, tries her hand at humor, though she'd never dare attempt an Olivia Newton-John sing-off. Follow her blog Beyond Romance (http://lisabetsarai.blogspot.com) for all her latest news (including frequent giveaways). Check out her website Lisabet's Fantasy Factory (http://www.lisabetsarai.com) for lots of free reading, excerpts from all her books, and more pictures of her cats.