Stupid Questions with Lucy:Out-of-Control Hairdo Edition Featuring Connie Vines

Hallo, blog friends!  Author Connie Vines is here to char herself on my hot seat (ahem)!

1. Who would win in a war between cats and bears? 

 

Since neither species inhabits the same global real estate, let’s assume the Siberian Tiger vs Polar Bear war began at a local zoo, or animal park due to a major social faux pas. 

 

The vanity factor: 

 

The Siberian tiger is reddish-rusty or rusty-yellow in color, with narrow black transverse stripes for as camouflage and hunt by stealth. They lie in wait and creep close enough to attack their victims with a quick spring and a fatal pounce. Tigers are the largest of all wild cats and are renowned for their power and strength. 

 

Polar bears typically have thick white fur, which can range from white to creamy yellow in the summer. A thick undercoat prevents water from penetration, and webbed forepaws can measure up to 16 cm in diameter; acting as paddles for swimming and snowshoes for walking on land or on thin ice. Compared to other bears, the polar bear's head is streamlined. It has a longer snout for warming cold air on inhalation and for trying to catch ringed seals that are slipping down breathing holes. 

 

Canine size: equal. 

 

Siberian Tiger: Agile, fast, kills by crushing the jugular. The tiger's sense of hearing is the most acute all its senses. Size: Male Siberian tigers body length 4.5’ to 9’ and weigh from 400-675 lbs. Speed: Can run up to 50 mph in the show. Advantage: speed. 

 

Polar Bear: Power paws, thick coat and protective layer of fat. Polar bears hearing and eyesight comparable to humans and sense of smell is acute. Polar bears are able to smell a seal from a distance of 32 km (20 miles). Size: Male polar bears range from 7' to 11' and weigh from 660 to 1,320 pounds. Speed: Walking speed: 5.5 kph (3.4 mph). Running speed: 40 kph (25 mph) for short distances. Advantage: additional layer of fat to lessen an attack. 

 

Fight: The tiger would try to attack from behind the bear (Method of kill: suffocation after putting the victim down). However, the bear’s fur is much too thick for the tiger to penetrate. The action would enrage the polar bear. The bear would fall backwards onto the cat and the cat would then instinctively try to escape because a cat hates being on its back. Alternatively, the bear (Method of kill: crushing the skull with a blow from paw) would injure the tiger. 

 

Winner: Clearly the Polar Bear. After measuring the force a bear creates by a blow from its paw vs the claws/biting force of the tiger, the bear would win. The tiger would be unable to topple the bear. Result: the Polar Bear would crush the Siberian Tiger’s skull. Connie’s Reaction: No more visits to the San Diego Zoo or Wild Animal Park for me! 

 

2. Would I rather get a diagnosis of Benedict Cumberbatch or Engelbert Humperdinck? 

Engeldict, or Bengelbert? Since I must decide--knowing one side effect is a lovely Las Vegas suntan and questionable sideburns; the other, pasty-pale skin and an out-of-control hairdo. I would prefer a diagnosis of Benedict Cumberbatch. 

 

3. If you could have any fantasy creature for a pet, what would it be and why? 

 

A baby dragon would be the perfect mythical pet for me. I have the patience to train him or her to fly and breathe fire. Baby dragons are not easy to raise. However, I am calm and can handle the challenge (after all, I am an experienced iguana owner). My adorable baby dragon will love sitting on my shoulder and accompanying me wherever I go (except for handbag and shoe shopping)! I will be sure to keep my latest fashion accessory (fire extinguisher) close by! 

 

4. Are there Aliens among us? 

 

Of course! 

 

4a. Since there are aliens among us, what would you name a romance about them? 

 

Far-Out Dudes

 

5. Speaking of horrible aliens, how would you help Justin Bieber off this planet? 

 

How about a trip to Mars? A wealthy engineer who paid $20 million for the Russians to fly him to the International Space Station back in 2001 (who shall remain nameless), is leading a private effort to stage a Martian fly-by mission in 2018. I am guessing that Justin Bieber could easily afford a ticket onto the Mars mission 

 

6. If you were a superheroine or hero, what would you special power be? 

 

Chi: Control of our inner mojo. Control over your Chi means you have the ability to physically manifest all of your inner strength and willpower. This means your outer strength can be just as powerful as your inner strength. 

 

* * *

 

 

Here Today, Zombie Tomorrow 

 

Alive, Steampunk novelist Meredith Misso worked hard at living the perfect SoCal celeb life. Now that she is a Zombie, it’s all about the make-up, non-vegan lifestyle, and her soon-to-be ex, who somehow managed to Velcro himself back into her life. “Quirky, Sassy, and Fun! ~ Authors Den Review 

 

Available on Amazon

 

Connie Vines 

 

Married with two grown sons, Connie Vines resides deep in the quirky suburbs of southern California. She has published over one hundred short stories and non-fiction articles, six novels, and has ghost-written two literary novels and one screenplay. The vice-president of GothRom (Gothic Chapter of Romance Writers), Connie participates in local literary events and judges national and international writing contests. 

 

Please visit her website: http://www.novelsbyconnievines.com 

Follow her on Twitter: http://twitter.com/connie_vines 

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/connievines/pins 

Easy links to all things Connie: http://about.me/ConnieVines