Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Swing on by and Read the Shittiest Thing Ever!

My "The Shittiest Princess" series has been running weekly on Persephone Magazine for a while now!  It's been so exciting for me to share the adventures of Princess Poot, her friend-wife Prince Agnes, Medium-Sized Moat Squid, and all the rest of the kooky Kingdomville gang!

If you've missed this amazing phenomenon that my husband calls "you're still doing that weird thing?" then check out all the stories here:

It came to pass in the country of Kingdomville that the king held an annual event for the betterment of boners and armpit sweat: The Manly Games. Besides crusades, wars, Minion-crushing, tournaments, Tuesdays, and gay pride parades, there were no opportunities for men to run about waving their implements at one another, so the Games were born...

If you want to start at the beginning, then check out THE SHITTIEST PRINCESS AND THE TWELVE-TOED SUITOR.

Once upon a time, when men were men and women were property, there lived a very shitty princess. Verily, she was the shittiest princess in the seven kingdoms, and in the three kingdoms beyond them. She was worse than even the most terrible royal in that weird duchy that celebrated Christmas all year ’round. It took a month to pry the tinsel out of your sensitive parts after a visit to that accursed place, a pox upon it.

The shittiest princess’ name was Poot. You’d think she’d be the fartiest princess, but that title belonged to Princess Amanda Who Was Rarely Invited to Sleepovers...

All the rest can be found on the Shittiest Princess tag--start from page two (at the bottom) and work your way up.

If you're having a bad day or a great one, Princess Poot can bring a smile to your lovely face.  And if not, hey--at least you don't have her vestigial fin!  Uh...I meant skateboarding scar.

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